There is nothing safer than flying – it’s crashing that is dangerous. You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal! – Jarod KintzĢ7. I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo. Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of stark terror. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.
When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children. Switzerland is only bearable covered with snow,” Aunt Augusta said, “like some people are only bearable under a sheet. A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time. They have a different word for everything. It is the right of a traveler to vent their frustration at every minor inconvenience by writing of it to their friends. “Quick, let’s run before he judges us! – David Sedarisġ7. He has a passport,” my classmates would whisper. – Woody Allen Read more: 21 funny quotes on road trips with friendsġ6. It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off. It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, ‘As pretty as an airport’. Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. What contempt the people who think up souvenirs have for other people.
Statuettes of drunken sailors, velvet pictures of island maidens, plastic seashell lamps made in Taiwan. I guess that’s what you call it when everybody comes back alive.
It was then I knew that I had been in India long enough. In some peculiar way, indeed, the rules were now beginning to seem quite logical. – Evelyn Waugh > Read more: 17 creative and crazy things to do with friends on a weekend road tripġ0. Every Englishman abroad, until it is proved to the contrary, likes to consider himself a traveler and not a tourist. I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass. The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language. You can handle just about anything that comes at you out on the road with a believable grin, common sense and whiskey. Modern traveling is not traveling at all it is merely being sent to a place, and very little different from becoming a parcel. I have panicked unnecessarily in all four corners of the globe. What is it about maps? I could look at them all day, earnestly studying the names of towns and villages I have never heard of and will never visit… – Bill BrysonĤ. People are often frightened of Parisians, but an American in Paris will find no harsher critic than another American. He liked the idea of travel, and the memory of travel, but not travel itself. Read some funny, absurd and sarcastic travel quotes from people who are in a love-hate relationship with traveling.ġ.
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